I am pathetic

I've alluded in past posts that Bryan & I live far from our families. This is true: a thousand miles worth of distance. Over the years, we've discussed the fact that we've always lived at least three hours from our parents & siblings, and I believe that this is a situation that has served us well. Our marriage relationship has grown and developed so that we depend on each other as the nucleus. We had to be independent as a young couple, and this is healthy. On the downside, we've missed having grandparents close for our boys to have relationships with. When someone in either family could have used a hand, mine were tied. When my grandmother died, I wasn't there; I grieve that fact.

My family is close knit, or, we were while growing up, at least, and I miss being able to hang out with my brother and sister and their spouses. I regret that I'm missing seeing my neices and nephew grow. I've never lived with any of my six youngest siblings, and that's saddens me.

Over the years, the distance was eased with a lot of phone calls. Bethany and I would talk a couple hours a week, and my mother and I would talk a couple hours a week, sometimes every day. However, at the moment, my uncle, aunt and two cousins are living with my parents and six siblings. It's a madhouse. There's no downtime, no quiet moments. My mother and I have gone from speaking several times a week to once every two or three weeks.

I'm very disconnected from my extended family, and I feel it like a punch to the solar plexus.

To my family, to my mother and father, mother-in-law, father-in-law, all five sisters, three brothers, three brothers-in-law, two sisters-in-law, nieces and nephew, grandfathers and grandmother: I love you all.

... I need a hug.